Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
