i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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