it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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