I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
