She's JV to your varsity
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Randomize
