It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
