i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
