Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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