how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize