hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
