Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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