I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
