i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
