Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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