I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
