need another drink. this is the easiest way
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Randomize
