He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
