Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
This gyro tastes like lonliness
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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