sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
