Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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