Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
