I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
