May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize