I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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