I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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