you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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