About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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