im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
