I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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