this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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