So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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