i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm like, not good at living.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
