So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
