She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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