super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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