Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
