dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
