I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
