There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
