Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
