There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
