How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
