I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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