Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
