And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
