So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I understand Curling. That high.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
