It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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