he shaved USA in his pubs
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
