used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
