Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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