why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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