Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I think I am morally bankrupt
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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