All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
