i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize