So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
