The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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