we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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