the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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