Soap is not a condiment
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
