Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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