I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
she was so not down for the gang bang
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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